Kathleen "No you are not."

José rested his head in his hands.

Kathleen: "You see, you are not talking and you are not eating either. So, I’m going to teach you a new game my mother taught me."

Kathleen: "It is a make-believe game called ‘The Wise Child.’ It is easy to play anytime, anywhere; for example, if you have a secret that you are afraid or ashamed to share with somebody, you can always talk to the wise child, and he will never make fun of you. My mother said that the wise child is in our heart. You close your eyes and you see him right next to you. Then you tell him all your secrets and if you really, really listen, you will hear answers to your problems."

Wise Child "Hi José, I heard that you wanted to ask me a question. What is it?"

Jose: "Why does my mother drink?"

Wise Child "Your mother has an illness; it’s a family illness. She may wish to stop, but she can’t do it on her own."

Jose: "My mother says that she can, but she usually starts sipping beer after lunch and then she goes to sleep."

Wise Child "She doesn’t drink because you are good or bad. Her drinking is a symptom of her illness."

Wise Child "It is through the mistakes that we make that we find the right way of doing things, but you are still good."

Jose: "When my mother and father fight, I’m so afraid I’ll lose them that I cry, and ask God to stop them because I can’t."

Wise Child "Jose, do you think you could go for help when they’r fighting?"

Jose: "No, because my mother says that when people ask me about her I should say that I don’t like to talk about my mom."

José: "No, not really. When my mother gets angry, everybody gets scared because she throws things. But the police are not afraid of her."

Wise Child: "So you feel powerless, and wish that you could change your mother’s behavior. What would you do if she gets angry again?"

José: "Well, before she drinks too much, I could ask her to let me go over to a friend’s house."

Wise Child: "If you could do that, it would be a good idea. But, it is important to remember that you can only change yourself."

José "I want a kitty . . . and . . . do you think that I can ask him to stop my scary dreams and make my mom remember her promises?"

Wise Child "Well, you can ask Santa, but the counselors and teachers from your school can help you with the dreams and they will not tell your secrets to anybody."

Wise Child "There are millions of children like you with alcoholic parents. The school counselors and teachers hear their stories everyday."

José "I don’t know. My mother spoils everything. I can’t bring my friends home because they say that she talks funny and wobbles. Then my teacher blames me when I don’t do my homework. But my mother gets angry if I don’t do housework. I’m so tired. I wish she would cook dinner sometimes."

Wise Child "It is healthy to cry. There is still hope of happiness for you, because those who do not know how to weep do not know how to laugh either."

Wise Child "Sometimes you get confused and think that you hate your mom, but what you hate is her illness. You only get angry at your mom and that is also OK. I heard you saying that your mom spoils everything. Do you really believe that?"

Wise Child "Also, other people in your life will sometimes interfere with your plans. It is important not to blame others for our unhappiness, and to prepare ourselves to take charge of our lives. If you do your homework, you and your teacher will be happy because "school is the child’s work."

Wise Child "Do you think that your mom would be happy to see that she is not needed because you can do her work, so she can continue drinking?"

Wise Child "Wonderful! You are planning your work regardless of your mom’s drinking. Where there is a will, there is a way. You can still be a winner in everything that you choose, and still love your mom just the way she is."

José "I love my mom and I know that she loves me too, but I’m afraid that she will get worse and that she will not be there for me."

Wise Child "That is possible. People come and go from our lives, but you are always there for yourself. The earth is always there beneath your feet. It feeds you, gives you water and beautiful flowers. Now, look at the sky. The sun is going down, but the stars and the moon are coming out. Well José, I have to go, but if you need me, call me. I’m always here for you. Until I see you again, recite this poem to God every night before you go to sleep: